Sunday, October 28, 2012

Withdrawal

It's my understanding that after giving up an addictive substance one goes through a time of withdrawal that is "typically accompanied by distressing physiological and mental effects." (Thank you, hard copy of the Webster's New World Dictionary, Third College Edition which has not been off my bookshelf in years.)

As I anticipated Seven Week 4: Media, I predicted the biggest factor for me would be not checking Facebook each day. Okay, multiple times a day.

It turns out that I am spending significantly more time with my computer than I thought. It's ridiculous.

Typical Day:
Wake up and check Facebook.
Get ready then check personal email and possibly school email and Facebook.
Go to work and take lunch break, check email and Facebook.
Finish work day then check email and Facebook for messages before leaving to get kids.
Get home and check Facebook and my blog.
Throughout the night Google topics as needed
Post on Facebook cute things the kids do or say.
Read on Facebook the cute things my friends' kids do or say.
Check out blogs of favorite authors, etc...
Put kids to bed then hang out online looking at friends' pins on Pinterest.
Sometimes watch a show on Hulu.
Read friends' blogs, etc...
Check Facebook one last time before bed.

What is the deal with me and Facebook?

Why am I obsessed with social media?

Why do I continually post things about my children or life?

Why do I care if people "like" my posts and comments?

My commitment for Week 4 was to fast from Facebook for seven days and to limit my use of the internet to email, blogging, and job-related sites.

My media fast started Thursday morning, and I blew it in the first 5 minutes of the day. I received an email from a friend that she had read my blog and had linked my blog to her most recent post. So, of course, I had to click over and read what she wrote, right?

I thought back to my food fast and how a wise friend had referred to the profundity of Ignatius of Loyola who encouraged very specific and clearly defined commitments concerning a fast. I knew I needed to be equally as vigilant regarding my media fast.

So, I started turning my computer monitor off. I checked email fewer times throughout the day and sent emails as needed; but I found I had a lot of extra time on my hands to finish going through closets and cabinets, to clean and organize the house, and to spend with the kids (Read: take a nap with Josiah on the couch).

Now that watching a movie as a family is not an option, I hope to replace that time with activities our family can do together: games, books, projects, cooking. I want my kids to choose playing Racko to watching Ratatouille.

The harder part for us has been the radio. Since it *is* a form of media, it was included in my media fast.

And I miss it.

Desperately.

Perhaps most of all on our hour-long trip to visit friends in Noblesville Friday night.

I planned ahead. I took card games and electronic Twenty Questions.

Elisha started playing the electronic game, but that didn't include everyone so we transitioned to old-fashioned Twenty Questions. Me and three children: 4, 6 and 9.

I guessed Elisha's object in under 3 minutes. It went something like this:

Elisha: It's a thing.

Me: Is it alive?

Elisha: Yes.

Me: Is it an animal?

Elisha: Yes.

Me: Does it have 4 legs?

Elisha: Yes.

Me: Does it have fur?

Elisha: Yes.

Me: Is it a type of pet?

Elisha: Yes.

Me: Is it a dog?

Elisha: Yes. What kind of a dog?

Me: Is it a Yorkshire Terrier? (the breed of his dog)

Elisha: Yes.

And then there was Madelyn's "animal" which we couldn't guess and it turned out to be an alien. (Or was that Josiah's?)

This quickly degenerated into children not taking turns and arguing and loud voices which inspired me to impose a "No Talking Time" while I called my friend who is also participating in Seven and asked her when it becomes more necessary to turn on the radio and keep mom sane than to complete the seven media fast. She kindly suggested we all play the Alphabet Game.

We all started looking for letters which lasted approximately 5 minutes at which point the younger two gave up. Fortunately, they started playing Go Fish while Elisha and I spent the next 30 minutes finding G through Z.

We arrived at our friends' house and enjoyed dinner together. I decided to allow a brief recess from their fast since we were guests, and the kids ended up having a dance party, playing a Cars video game and watching Madagascar 3. I rationalized that, ultimately, this is my journey and they should not have to be subject to the same level of dedication that I am.

So it seems like we have been on Week 4 for around two weeks, but it has only been 4 days. I am looking forward to the end of this fast but am contemplating what balance looks like for me and my family in the area of media.

Any words of wisdom and discernment from the blogosphere would be welcome. What's working for you and your family? Anyone?

2 comments:

Deven said...

Ok, I'm pretty sure I have caught you after your media fast, but I would think a little differently about music. I think I would fast dead-end media that has no other purpose than itself. If your music was bonding your family or worshipful, I would keep it.

Email and FB can always stand some limits - at least if my life is any indication. Smart phones only make it worse.

Trace-n-the-Grace said...

For us, we must limit screen time. Because so much vital communication comes in through email--kids' schedule, yes, there is a potluck after church, link from husband on upcoming meeting,etc.--that one is a little tough.
For the boys, ages 11,7,7--screen time is their motivation for good behavior. We have a behavior chart--if they are in the top green zone they get an hour a day--on the wii, the computer, netflix, etc. Next zone down, a half hour--I'm not going to explain the whole chart, but suffice it to say, screen time is limited for the kids at our house to an hour a day. (I vaguely wonder if I could survive on that...)
As I read your post, I think of my own habits...checking fb before school starts, telling the kids, "just a sec...just a sec..." I am not sure if I am going to do a media fast but you definitely have me thinking..
By the way, my not-so-little-anymore girl, age 9, is a natural media "fast-er"--she is completely unmotivated by screen time. :-) Thank you Jaena.