Divorce

I hate typing the word.

I hate saying the word.

I hate thinking everyone is looking at me thinking the word.

I hate checking the marital status box on medical forms.

It's a word I never would have expected to be applied to me. I mean, I didn't even get married until I was 28, waiting for God's timing. And then I was so happy. Content with my spouse, my children, my life.

But, things happen. People make choices. To say things. To do things. Two people choose how to treat their covenant.

For better or for worse.

What happened to my attitude in the hard times?

For richer or for poorer.

Why was I so anxious about money?

In sickness and in health.

Where was my patience in times of struggle?

To love, honor and cherish.

Did I do this? Daily? To the best of my ability?

I have regrets. And guilt. And more guilt.

But God juxtaposed a conversation with a friend and a quote from a Mark Lowry concert and started me thinking.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about the divorce and how incredulous it was to me that this all happened. She kindly commented that “my sin” and circumstances just happened to be public and that she would not want some of her choices or her sin to be made available for all to see.

I was a little surprised. While I have made plenty of poor choices and did, in fact, sin during my marriage, I have not considered the divorce itself to be a matter of sin for me. I did not want it. I did not pursue it. And I only “agreed” to it, signing the final paperwork because it was holding up the process of buying a house for Jim.

I did not say anything, but continued to consider her words.

A few days later, I attended a Mark Lowry concert. In the midst of his sharing about how we are all able to be used by God, he specifically referred to people who are divorced. He said, “God was divorced” and told us to read Jeremiah 3:8. He went on to encourage us that if we were divorced, God could still use us and to not think of it as a barrier to what God could do with us.

His words were powerful. I went home and looked up the passage and found this:

“I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.”

(emphasis mine)

According to this, Mark was right. God gave Israel a certificate of divorce. If God did this, how could it be a sin?

I started researching verses on divorce and found that although divorcing someone can cause them to sin (commit adultery), I have yet to find a verse that says the actual act of giving someone a certificate of divorce is a sin.

I’m still looking and thinking and praying. What do you think?