- When you read someone's blog, it is nice to leave a comment. Let's face it, we all love comments: they are part of what keep us blogging. Not that we are writing "for" others, but knowing that people are reading our posts and responding makes the process that much more fulfilling. If we all followed this guideline on the blogs we read, we would all have significantly more comments. :) I read Deb Wuertley, Overtly regularly and probably leave more comments there than on any other blog.
- If you are blog hopping (or stalking), especially to someone you do not know or would not know you, rule number 1 does not necessarily apply. At times, I can get carried away linking through a list on someone's blog. Many times I know (or at least know of) the person through school, church, or family associations. But I figure, although I know them, they may not know me. Do you ever have a guilty feeling when you are reading an unknown person's blog? I know it is a public forum, but I still can feel awkward looking at family pictures or reading details of a life when the person doesn't know I am there - like spying. Zippy the Fish is one of my favorite blogs to check out every few weks, though I have never (yet) left a comment.
- When leaving a comment, remember what Cowboy Bob (and your mother) always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I was recently surprised to read an anonymous person comment on a friend's blog about how she choose to respond to her child's actions in a certain instance. I thought to myself, "What business is it of yours?" (I know that's not very nice...but it actually is none of his/her business.) I have also stopped myself from commenting when I think my viewpoint might be misunderstood. Comments on blogs - like email lor letters - can be easily misinterpreted.
- Don't leave anonymous comments. If you cannot attach your name to a comment, you might reconsider if you should be leaving it. I am sure people have varying opinions on this topic; but since this is my list of rules, I guess it can reflect my opinion. After serving in ministry for a number of years and reading letters from or hearing about church members who make their thoughts known through anonymous letters and such, I have become pretty much against anonymous anything. (An exception might be an anonymous gift or something where you are blessing a person but don't want to be recognized.) But I digress...in the blog world, it seems that an anonymous comment holds no accountablility and can be misunderstood more easily than other comments - whether that be by the blogger or other readers. Why risk it? Just sign your name.
- If someone "visits" your blog and leaves a comment, it is most polite to acknowledge their "visit" and their comment by commenting back, preferably on their blog. Most people do this, and I think it is a nice gesture. It takes a bit more time to go to another person's blog to comment back, but it shows that you have checked out their blog and that you were willing to make the effort.
Well, that's what I have so far...what do you think? Do you agree or disagree and why? What major blogging guidelines am I leaving out?
24 comments:
Okay Jaena, I am letting you know I was here and letting you know I agree!
Also, I checked out (or stalked as you called it) Zippy the fish. WOW! What great pictures. That is a very cool blog. Thanks for the info.
I like your etiquette ideas.
And - - - I don't think I'd feel guilty about looking at random blogs, like Zippy the Fish, because don't we ALL hope others are finding and enjoying our blogs??? Especially since they(the blogs) ARE extensions of us???
I say be brave - - - leave Zippy a comment!!!
Jaena, I love and agree with your guidlines! We got an anonymous comment the other day when we showed a video tour of our house...they said we shouldn't of done that caz now someone can break in our house. EEkk, I didn't know if they were saying that out of love or some creepy stalker thing. Anywho, cool guidelines, and I also agree...I feel like I'm spying on people when I start linking to peoples blogs that I don't know very well, but it's still fun:) Hey thanks for your comment on the windows...I had so much fun doing that!! Miss yah!
In His Grip,
Great observations and I wholeheartedly agree! BTW-it is one of my MAJOR pet peeves when other people tell me how I should parent. Amen to that one sister!!!
I think I should just stay out of this one given the events of the last 24 hours.
An interesting topic, Jaena. And it's one where feelings run deep, if Deb's recent experience is any indication.
Maybe that's because even though blogs are visible to the public, we treat the comment areas kind of like a loose conversation among friends and acquaintances. At least, that's what it often feels like. Would anyone else agree?
And it's funny: the "Anonymous Incident" on Deb's blog bothered me too -- even after I realized that Deb knew the person who commented -- and I've been trying to figure out why. If the comment area is like a conversation among well-meaning folks who know each other, then an anonymous comment from someone that nobody knows might be kinda like a stranger walking up and joining the discussion without introducing himself (or herself)? What if the blogger knows who the "stranger" is? Does that feel more like someone in a group having a major laugh about an inside joke without explaining it to everyone?
I don't intend to belabor the metaphor. And I certainly don't mean to criticize Deb or her anonymous friend! I'm just thinking out loud (or on screen, rather).
By the definitions that Deb and Jaena use, I guess I have a bad habit of blog stalking. I check Jaena's and Deb's blogs daily, but I seldom leave comments. Why? Maybe it's related to the same idea: how sometimes I don't want to interrupt a great conversation (and one that sometimes involves people I don't even know!).
Sheesh. Another comment that ends up being about me instead of the topic at hand. Somebody get this boy his own blog.
I agree about comments being an ongoing conversation. One difference about a stranger walking up and joining a conversation in person, though, is that you can hear their tone and interpret their facial expressions to help determine how to take their comments. Online, a friend making an anonymous comment is interpreted the same as "Joe Shmoe" making a sarcastic dig.
Maybe we should read all anonymous comments and think the best - that people have positive motives and are just joking. That's part of why I don't allow anon. comments...I would read into things and worry about how to take what people write. (Plus not knowing who commented would make me crazy.)
AMEN sister! I agree with you list. I do need to make more of an effort to leave comments when I read. I agree that there are appropriate times to attach "anonymous" to things (gifts, kind gestures...) Most times I think it is used as a cop out. It's always easier to be honest about our thoughts and feelings if our identity is hidden. I respect people that are able to say the tough things openly. Very hard to do! anonymous note or phone call
AMEN sister! I agree with you list. I do need to make more of an effort to leave comments when I read. I agree that there are appropriate times to attach "anonymous" to things (gifts, kind gestures...) Most times I think it is used as a cop out. It's always easier to be honest about our thoughts and feelings if our identity is hidden. I respect people that are able to say the tough things openly. Very hard to do!
Wow - - - look what you stirred up with this one, Jaena!!!! Or, perhaps anonymous stirred this all up.
Whatever the case - - - I like your blog.
I agree with your list, although if I commented on every blog I visit every time, I'd never have time to write on my own blog. I barely do anyway. I try to leave regular comments though.
As to annonymous and not-so-nice comments, I delete them. Okay, I've only deleted one comment. It was on a post where I was expressing a strong opinion, and requested that if anyone disagreed with me, to post it on their own blog (I was partially serious, partially trying to be funny.) Well, someone started to argue with me anyway! So I deleted their comment. It's my blog, and I don't appreciate an argument in the comments section, especially one that is unnecessary.
If you don't like the comment, especially if it makes you feel like others would think poorly of you or misunderstand, delete it! It's a remarkable feeling of catharsis!
Hey Jaena!!! I love your list! :) After receiving my first bash on my blog...I'm all for kindness in comments. :) I am still debating whether or not to delete the comment left - part of me wants to take it down for the reason Robin said - but part of me wants to leave it as a reminder that I need to think about how my words could be interpreted. A good kick in the seat of the pants is character building every now and then...for me at least. It tends to be the only way I learn. But anyway, I love reading your blog - and Deb's and JoEllen's - every day!!
I agree with you. PReach it girl!
Hey Jaena! I agree with your list and have to apoligize for not leaving comments as often as I should, but these days I find it hard to even get to look at your blog that often with A.J. starting to stand up to everything. Well I should go for now. Please let Jim and the kids now We Love you guys!!
Renee
Hi Jaena,
I always appreciate your kind comments :-)
I like your ettiquette ideas, but on the other hand I tend not to leave comments often because I do not feel like I have something of value to add to the discussion. Kind of like you said, I am just peaking at what others have to say because if they have a blog they have invited me to do so...
Jaena, I think that if you ever get tired of motherhood I can get you a job as a procedure writer! Your thinking is very systematic (and that's a compliment). I think blog ettiquite (sp?) varys though, for each group of friends. John has some friends who use My Space and I wouldn't actually call it a civilized exchange of ideas.
A final disclaimer about my post:
In the blogging world, I think there are "levels" (more than leaving a comment every time or never.) My post made it sound like people should comment on every blog every time which is definitely not practical. So to all of you who comment sometimes and not others, thanks! I do (or don't) too.
When are we giong to start out weekly get together to talk about blog topics...? Still interested?
(snaps, snaps, snaps)
O.K., I can't access Zippy the Fish. Any secrets?
I can't either anymore...not even from a blog on which he is listed as a link. Not sure why - sorry, he is an amazing photographer and great writer too.
Try Zippy again...his address changed.
I found Zippy! His photography is incredible. And he lives right here in So Cal - maybe I'll see him at the supermarket or someting.
I was going to leave him a comment that said he had a cult following in Marion, Indiana, but thought better of it.
I like your rules, particularly since I found your site through some other friends and thought, "Is this Jaena Showalter???"
So if it is, hello. If not, my apologies!
Ken DePeal
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