When someone asks me what I do now, my first response is that I am a stay-at-home-mom. This makes sense to me since I am not employed outside the home and I am primarily responsible for the care of our two children (while Jim is at work, at least).
My husband Jim, on the other hand, mentioned recently that he does not think this is an accurate answer. He belives that I am a full time volunteer. Not that he would actually say this to anyone expect me, but the idea got me thinking..."How much do I really stay at home?" and "How much of my time is spent volunteering?"
In my true task-oriented, left-brained fashion, I made a list.
My current weekly "outside the home meetings" include the following:
Sunday - attend church and possibly help in our venue "The Blend" if I make it on time and/or can leave Madelyn in the nursery
Monday - Usually an 8AM meeting about CWC Assimilation or Small Groups
Tuesday - MOMS Bible Study at Brookhaven Wesleyan Church (wonderul & I definitely recommend this to any mom "out there")
Wednesday - Teach Good News Club and lead class at ClubSplash
Thursday - MOPS or MOPS Steering Team meeting (3 out of 4 weeks), Ladies Small Group
Friday, Saturday - No regularly scheduled commitments unless you count trying to have a date night or family time
Along with that I have the following leadership committments:
MOPS Steering Team member: Creative Activities Co-coordintor
Member of Assimilation Planning Team at CWC
Member of CAT (Creative Arts Team) at CWC
Member of WMCR (Wesleyan Married Couples Retreat) Planning Team
Treasurer of CEF (Child Evangelism Committee) Committee: although I just resigned from that effective end of 2006 due to our other responsibilities
Director of KFC (Kids For Christ) Camp
Mini-job record keeping for friend's company
Balanced with Jim's schedule:
Work at Admissions
Lead a venue at CWC
Teach an adult Sunday School Class at CWC
Teach a Bible class at Lakeview (two days a week, starting next week)
Serve on Children's Board of Directors at CWC
Member of WMCR (Wesleyan Married Couples Retreat) Planning Team (we count these meetings as a date night!)
Whew! I am tired just reading this. On the other hand, it is also therapeutic; and I have made a few observations about my volunteering tendencies:
- I should stay away from anything that uses letters as an acronym to represnt itself: CEF, CWC, WMCR, KFC, etc...
- Deb wrote awhile back about how we all have the same amount of time but may chose to spend it differently. I think we also have the same potential for stress, and different things may or may not "stress out" different people. The jury is still out at this point on whether of not I am "stressed out."
- While some days it seems like everything is going along calmly, when things do get busy, they seems to get really busy (like overwhelmingly busy); and I haven't yet figured out how to fix that.
- I love to volunteer. I believe it is because one of my spiritual gifts is helps. (Is that bragging? It's just a factual result of those gifts tests.) Helping people is fulfilling to me, so I tend to find ways to do just that: help teach, help organize, help lead, help paint, help administrate (that's another of my gifts, by the way: administation). When I look at my involvement in this light, it can be an act of worship.
- On the other hand, I heard on the radio of a book on this topic that I don't want to read because it would probably say that *being* is better than *doing*. It's titled something like Having a Mary Mindset in a Martha World. I probably should get it, but I get tired of Martha always getting a bad rap (and I don't mean Martha Stewart.) I could go on, but this could be another post by itself.
Bottom Line: I am feeling like I need to evaluate what I do and why I do it. I can then reprioritize my time and make sure that I am putting first things first and so on.
Do any of you have suggestions for this process? How do you discern where to invest your time? I mean, let's face it, we could all volunteer our lives away for any number of valuable causes...what are the determining factors in your life?
Disclaimer: To anyone who reads who may be a recipient of my volunteering or helps, please do not read anything into this post. It is mostly a journal-type entry of my thoughts and processing. I am not trying to send any hidden messages or make anyone feel bad or guilty. :)
9 comments:
Thank you for coming to paint yesterday!
Jaena you are the queen of volunteering, I give you that!:) I find sometimes, volunteering is more rewarding then working...(I currently cant'work until my work permit comes through) so I too am volunteering alot...that is majority of my time, sure I would love to get paid for what I do as a volunteer, but then that would be work...would I still enjoy it then? I too, have struggled with the "Mary,Martha" issue. Though I long to be a "Mary", I know in fact I'm a "Martha", but that's not bad...I just think I need to learn to balance the two lifestyles and we can become..."Marytha's"! Love you Jaena!
Julie,
I wrote this post over a week ago but hadn't finished and proofed it yet, so it didn't get posted until today. (Just so you know that painting yesterday was not a catalyst for this post.) :o)
I am a fellow Martha. And I feel much too busy... thus my resignation at CWC. I say quit everything... but not MOPS. :-) Just kidding. Don't quit everything. I think you would be miserable doing "nothing". When all my outside activities start stressing me out, I know I have to give up something. I cut way back, enjoy for a brief time, then start helping out again, get too busy again, get stressed out, cut way back again... the cycle continues. I don't know how to break the cycle. Maybe I need to read that book also. I would love to become a Marytha like Lynette suggested. :-) Maybe we need to have a support group... oh wait, that wouldn't help, that would just add another thing to our plate. Ha Ha Ha
Jaena, your post reminds me of the 17 years I spent as a "stay-at-home-mom" and had a list of volunteer work which might give yours a run for its money.
You know what??? I felt every bit as fulfilled doing that as I do "working" hours and hours each week and taking home a paycheck.
Hang in there - - - - I'm proud of you.
You're doing the right thing(s). I always felt like I was a better mom when I was able to get away from John for awhile and get some intellectual stimulation. I felt more like "being there" when I was there.
Keetha is right on.
Don't know about counting committee meetings as "date night" though . . .
LilAC
It could've been the catalyst had we not let you roll your room too!
Hey I received a comment on page the other day asking if maddie and A.J. are twins how great is that!! Love y'all
I say you throw a 3rd kid in there and put your volunteering life into full whirlwind. :)
You are the volunteering queen and we all love you for it. Amazingly, you always pull us along with your habits. :) We're all here for you Jaena!!!!
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