MOPS Moments

OK, I have a confession to make...years ago (like 8-10 years ago), when I was a children's pastor, a good friend of mine launched a new ministry to young mothers at our church. About twice a month, I remember seeing what seemed like dozens of moms with scores of children arrive at the church to eat, talk, do a craft, and hear a speaker. And I remember thinking (this is the confession part), "I will never be one of those women."

While this might sound like the negative thinking of a lonely single woman who didn't think she would ever marry, let alone have children, that was not the context of my thoughts. I thought (or at least hoped) I would get married, and I could definitely see myself having children (assuming I got the marrying part taken care of, that is)...I just never thought that I would have the desire or need to get out of the house and do crafts with a bunch of other "needy" moms. A terrible perspective, I know. And the only reason I am even admitting to these thoughts now is that now, 8-10 years later, I am eating my words (or thoughts, maybe). I have become a stay-at-home-mom who longs for adult conversation and intellectual stimulation (other than Noggin and Nick Jr.) and who counts serving on jury duty as a chance to get out of the house. (Incidentally, my friend who started MOPS at our church is now a children's pastor; we traded places - pretty ironic.)

Now that I am an official "Mother Of PreSchooler," I have a different outlook on the ministry. It has changed even more drastically after my 3 days spent at the MOPS convention in Nashville Tennessee, but that trip wil lhave to wait until my next post. Unlike "Deb Wuertley, Overtly" I do not have the patience to write long posts - too much to proof at night.

Second Child Syndrome

Before we had Madelyn, I heard stories of how a family changes so much after a second child and even more about the things you had time to do with a first child that you would not have time to do with your second (or third or fourth). I optimistically thought that our family might be different. Maybe I would keep up on the sticker calendar of Baby's First Year (wait...I didn't even do that with our first child.) Or that we would take a monthly photo of our precious daughter by a certain object so that we could track her growth in comparison to it. (ummm...didn't do that with Elisha either.) I would at least put the photos we did take in some sort of a scrapbook to have a meaningful, organized record of our child's life (you guessed it...so far I have the ultrasound and baby shower photos in Elisha's album.)

So, here we are, eight months into our second child, and we - finally - had her first professional photos taken. Our dear friend Gia (who is an amazingly talented photographer) was actually here for Madelyn's birth. She had come to stay for the weekend while she was in town doing some photo shoots. The night after she arrived, I went into the hospital with complications; and Madelyn was born a little over 24 hours later. Unfortunately, we were not able to capture any photos while Madelyn was in the hospital because only parents and grandparents were allowed in the nursery. She did, however, stay with Elisha during the weekend, and we consider her visit a providential gift, despite the lack of photos.

She was in town again a couple of weeks ago and graciously agreed to spend some time with our family as well as take some photos of Madelyn. You can see the set here and also check out all of Gia's work at her website. They are so beautiful! Now if I can just get her photo in a frame sometime before her first birthday...

Rub A Dub Dub

I was giving Madelyn a bath the other night and realized it had been awhile since we got pictures of bathtime. Most of the pictures turned out blurry, but a couple were in focus (as well as modest.) For fun, I pulled up a photo of one of Madelyn's first baths at home...what a difference! It's hard to remember how little and skinny she was now that she has plenty of rolls and "padding."

Margins 2

This is just a resource I have heard of that relates to the idea of margin. Actually, I heard this author on Focus on the Family and was intrigued by the idea. He talked about how Jesus modeled margin in His life: he took time away and left crowds before everyone was healed...almost as if He was leaving a job unfinished.

I think this might be a good book for our Sunday School class to use for a few months. Maybe I can suggest it to the teacher. :)

Anyone heard of it or read it?

Margins

I had actually started another post, but the draft accidentally got erased when Elisha and his cousin Anna were playing computer games tonight. Maybe tomorrow...but for tonight, the topic is margins.

I just finished reading a play by play of my cousin Deb's day. Packed full. Every minute. Every day, in fact. I remember the feeling. Going from one thing to another with no time to spare, sometimes arriving late at an event because it was not humanly possible (without creating a rift in the space-time continuum) to get everywhere on time. I remember that "stressed out feeling" and the overly tired feeling at the end of a long day. I remember having a short fuse because I had so much to accomplish that if something didn't go exactly right, it would mess everything up.

It's not that I don't have full days now, my days are just full of different things...usually "at home" things that might not get done at all. Sometimes, in fact, my days can drag by and be full of nothing (or at least that is what it seems I have accomplished at the end of the day when I am trying to make a mental list.)

Anyways, all of this to say that I am learning that what my life needed - and still needs - are "margins." You know, like the margins in a book: space at the edges that keeps the words from running off the page. Can you imagine reading a book that had no margins with letters filling every last inch of the sheet? It would be difficult and would probably give you a headache.

In the same way we, too often, live our lives with no margins: filling every last second of our days and weeks. It's no wonder that time seems to go by so much faster as we get older; we fill it up. When I was a child, it seemed that I had more time to play, to think, to rest, to do nothing even. But as I grew, the task-oriented side of me became obessed with what I could DO and how much I could squeeze into the 24 hours of each day. It was fulfilling to know that I had accomplished something - many things. But at what expense? My husband, my children, myself?

It's not that I have perfectly incorporated margins into my life; I still have days where I try to do too much in too little time and I make myself (and my family) crazy. But I think I am learning some things...

1. At times, the best thing I can do is say "No," as in "No, I cannot help with that project" or "No, I will not be able to attend that event." How freeing to learn that I don't have to say yes to everything (and it only took me 35 years!)
2. My worth is not determined by what I do therefore I do not have to do everything. (refer to #1.)
3. Having "free time" or unscheduled time does not mean I am lazy. I grew up with a strong work ethic and can tend to feel guilty for relaxing or not doing something all the time. I don't need to.
4. Planning in extra time leaves room for the unexpected: spill or accident, forgotten items, traffic, etc...
5. Living with margins also leaves room for relationships because I can take time to spend with people (family, friends, or even strangers) since my schedule is not maxed out.

I am sure there is more, but this is a start. I have to admit that some margins are built in more easily as a stay at home mom, but it still takes some discipline. And, looking back to the even more precarious balance of work and motherhood, I wish I had practiced margins a bit better before.

What about you? Any thoughts or ways that you create margins in your life?

Watermelon Anyone?

I have thoughts for a new post but don't have (or want to take) the time to type it out right now...so for today, here is a photo of Madelyn in a dress she received from her Great Aunt Patti and Uncle Dan (who, incidentally, actually are a "great" aunt and uncle.) The second pic is a bit blurry...

Minding Manners

I am sure that someone out there has created a list of rules and regulations for bloggers to follow when posting and commenting on blogs. I haven't looked up any information like this because over the course of my blogging experience I have developed my own ideas concerning blogging etiquette - though until sharing this post, the thoughts have remained mostly in my mind. So, here is my list, in no particular order of importance:

1. When you read someone's blog, it is nice to leave a comment. Let's face it, we all love comments: they are part of what keep us blogging. Not that we are writing "for" others, but knowing that people are reading our posts and responding makes the process that much more fulfilling. If we all followed this guideline on the blogs we read, we would all have significantly more comments. :) I read Deb Wuertley, Overtly regularly and probably leave more comments there than on any other blog.
2. If you are blog hopping (or stalking), especially to someone you do not know or would not know you, rule number 1 does not necessarily apply. At times, I can get carried away linking through a list on someone's blog. Many times I know (or at least know of) the person through school, church, or family associations. But I figure, although I know them, they may not know me. Do you ever have a guilty feeling when you are reading an unknown person's blog? I know it is a public forum, but I still can feel awkward looking at family pictures or reading details of a life when the person doesn't know I am there - like spying. Zippy the Fish is one of my favorite blogs to check out every few weks, though I have never (yet) left a comment.
3. When leaving a comment, remember what Cowboy Bob (and your mother) always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I was recently surprised to read an anonymous person comment on a friend's blog about how she choose to respond to her child's actions in a certain instance. I thought to myself, "What business is it of yours?" (I know that's not very nice...but it actually is none of his/her business.) I have also stopped myself from commenting when I think my viewpoint might be misunderstood. Comments on blogs - like email lor letters - can be easily misinterpreted.
4. Don't leave anonymous comments. If you cannot attach your name to a comment, you might reconsider if you should be leaving it. I am sure people have varying opinions on this topic; but since this is my list of rules, I guess it can reflect my opinion. After serving in ministry for a number of years and reading letters from or hearing about church members who make their thoughts known through anonymous letters and such, I have become pretty much against anonymous anything. (An exception might be an anonymous gift or something where you are blessing a person but don't want to be recognized.) But I digress...in the blog world, it seems that an anonymous comment holds no accountablility and can be misunderstood more easily than other comments - whether that be by the blogger or other readers. Why risk it? Just sign your name.
5. If someone "visits" your blog and leaves a comment, it is most polite to acknowledge their "visit" and their comment by commenting back, preferably on their blog. Most people do this, and I think it is a nice gesture. It takes a bit more time to go to another person's blog to comment back, but it shows that you have checked out their blog and that you were willing to make the effort.

Well, that's what I have so far...what do you think? Do you agree or disagree and why? What major blogging guidelines am I leaving out?

Milestones

My lack of recent blog posts does not mean that we have had nothing happening in our lives. We spent most of last week at Fairmount Campgrounds for our district family camp. I taught the kids track each morning and helped with the preschool class at night. For a funny story from last week about a practical joke gone a bit askew, read today's blog by Deb.

Our children had a couple of milestones over the past 10 days:
Madelyn got her first cold (not bad for being over 6 months old.) Elisha had a cough and cold over a month ago, which he gave to me. I, in turn, infected Jim and (most likely) Madelyn. Although it is pitiful to hear a baby cough and cry and sniffle, I actually waited a couple of weeks to take her to the doctor, thinking that a cold just had to run its course. (Let me just say that with our first child, I would have called the doctor after three days, So I was quite proud of my levelheadedness and resolve.) Finally, I made an appointment last Thursday...she is now on an antibiotic for a secondary infection (sinus, most likely).

Elisha's news is a bit more positive: Sometime near the beginning of last week, Jim noticed that one of Elisha's bottom front teeth was loose. Being the good (and somewhat obsessive) mother that I am, I looked online to see if this was "normal." Most of the information I could gather listed 5 or 6 as the age when children lost their first tooth, maybe as early as 4. So, it was on to bother (I mean ask) our dentist and pediatrician. Both were not concerned, so I tried not to be either. Still, it was a bit disconcerting when we woke up the very next morning to find our 3 1/2 year old with one less tooth than he had the night before. Fortunately, we located the tooth in his bed and saved it in a special box that our good friend Jenn had purchased for Elisha at the missions tent the night before.

Elisha's "treasure box" as he likes to call it - thanks, Jenn!

The tooth: so little!

This is not an amazing picture, but it was fairly difficult to get a
clear shot of his mouth where his lips didn't cover his bottom teeth.

See what I mean? Here is a great picture,
but it doesn't show the missing tooth.
What a cute boy, though!

Mind Over Matter

I found out almost a week ago that three friends of mine are entering a triathlon and have started training for it. As soon as I heard them talking about it I was immediately intrigued by the idea. Well, first I had to verify what three events actually took place during a triathlon, but once I knew (running, swimming, and bicycling BTW), I started thinking to myself, "I wonder if I could try it?"

I heard them talk about it last night at "girl's night out" - getting up early, training every day with a set schedule, accountability. Just hearing about it gave me a rush..."I wonder if I could so that?" So, I talked to Deb today: "How long do you run?" "When do you train?" "What if I started training too?" She offered me a copy of the training schedule, and we discussed the "mind game" it can be to make your body do things it would rather not (like swim 500 meters or run 5 miles.) There is a part of exercise in general that requires a person to push oneself: to get up and get going when you would rather lay on the couch or sleep in. Not that there isn't a payoff...the adrenaline rush, the increased energy, not to mention just being in better shape (and having clothes fit that once didn't).

But then I read the training information...
"This TriFast Training Program is designed for runners (first sign of trouble because I am not a runner - I hate to run) who would like to test their fitness in a triathlon by adding swimming and cycling to their workout routines. It assumes a moderately high level of fitness (I think I have a moderately high level of fitness), certainly an ability to finish 5-K or 10-K races if not marathons. (OK, based on that, I guess I don't have a moderately high level of fitness.)

If you never have run before, consider carefully before selecting this program. It assumes in the first week that you have the ability to run for a half hour and bike and swim near equal amounts of time. (so that would add up to an hour and a half of exercising on three ways I never exercise.) Some of the workouts combine two or more of the three triathlon disciplines in a single workout. Also in the program is two days of strength training a week."

So, this is when I started to have a panic attack (not really). But I did start a two-way conversation inside my mind weighing out the feasibility of me participating in this triathlon:

Pros

• I exercise on a regular basis: walking and strength training, not to mention chasing after and caring for two young children, which builds stamina (as well as patience and humility and various other qualities that do not have physical ramifications.)
• I am competitive and persistent and love a challenge.
• It would be amazing to set and reach a goal like this.
• I have three friends who would help with accountability and encouragement.
• Finishing would be the goal, not winning, so there would be less pressure.
• I have access to a pool, weights, treadmill, and bicycles at IWU gym.
  

Cons

• Have I mentioned that I hate to run?
• I had knee surgery in college and still have weakness in that knee (I should mention here that another friend who is training for the triathlon also had knee surgery while she was in college, and you would probably never know it. I tell myself it's because she is a true athlete. :-) )
• I have chronic ear problems and cannot swim without ear plugs and probably a swim cap to guarantee that I don’t get water in my ears.
• I do not own a bike (actually, that is not true; I do own a rusted Schwinn 10-speed that is covered with cobwebs in our shed.) I do not own a bike that could be used in the race.
• I have a 6 month old and am still nursing (sorry if that is TMI for some of you, but I seriously think that figures into my energy and ability to train hard.)
• I have a 6 month old and am still not getting a full night's sleep. (Deb only got 4-5 hours of sleep last night but that is because she - like the rest of us - is addicted to blogging. It is not, hopefully, an every night occurrence.)
• I have more reasons but this post is getting rather long.
  

So, here are my conclusions:

• I can tell myself that I will train for and compete in this triathlon until I am blue in the face; but reality says it will not happen.
• Mind over matter does not always work (just watch Fear Factor).
• My friends will not care (or like me any more or less) if I participate in this triathlon.
• I cannot attach any of my self worth to whether or not I participate.
  

Bottom line: I just don’t see what I was thinking…temporary insanity, maybe? I feel like I was crazy to even consider that I could do this. Am I that "un-self aware"? (I made that word up.)

I admire those who are going to make it happen in their lives; and if anyone has a way that I could make it happen in mine (in 7 weeks), I am ready to hear it. But, for now, I am disappointed to say that my mind cannot overcome this matter.

Food for Thought

Madelyn has begun the transition to "real" food (if that is what you can call the tasteless mush she has tried lately). She has yet to master the technique of eating but has, in fact, managed to "suck" the food off the spoon so far. Overall, she tolerates the experience but has not accepted it as the new and exciting adventure that food can somtimes be.

Which brings me to my next point - or maybe this would be my first (and only) point: food can be an adventure. (Did I already write that?) At least it is in our family:

Tonight we went to my parent's house for dinner. We brought pork to grill (thank you, Meat Fairy) and sweet potatoes; and they has corn on the cob and ice cream which, combined, created a very nice meal. I was helping get things ready and "found" a small package of food wrapped in plastic wrap sitting on the bread box (which, incidentally, does not hold bread but contains my mother's spice collection - go figure).

Anyways, I asked if this lump of bread - I think it was actually shortcake - was still good or if it could be thrown away. The answer I received at once summarized years of food disagreements and discussions: "If there's not mold on it, it's still good."

I promised thay I would not reveal which of my family members uttered this proverb. However, I will say that this is not the first time advice like this has been given, and it could just have easily been many other members of my family who shared this opinion.

I, for one, don't get it... I mean, is "mold growing on it" the only way to know that something is spoiled? What about milk? I have, on occasion, opened a gallon of milk and known that it is not fit to drink. Is there mold? No, but I guarantee anyone with the sense of smell (let alone taste) would not think twice about declaring it bad.

What about meat? In my experience, it takes quite a bit for meat to mold (like forgetting it in the back of the fridge for 2 months). Or fruit? Jim has a bad canteloupe memory that still comes up when we eat it. (That would be the memory coming up, not the canteloupe.)

So, while I don't want to be wasteful, I also think there may be better guidelines for determining food safety and storage issues. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Or stories of your own? I have more, but I may find myself eating at home much more often if I share them.

Randomness

Lately, I have been noticing several posts that have random thoughts, random lists, or random pictures. So, in keeping with this recent theme (or non-theme, actually), I have posted a variety of pictures that have been in my camera waiting for their day to come. Enjoy!

The kids decided to play in the wet sand (which became mud)
during one of our recent camping trips. As you can imagine,
all of the adults were "threatening" them not to touch us. :-)

Camping Out: Maddie and her morning cup of coffee

Christmas in July: Elisha and his new (rummage sale) kitchen.
He had been "cooking" using plastic lids for pretend stove burners.

Christian soldiers need rest too.

I just like this picture.

People say they look alike...what do you think?

Groovy Girl

Check out this cool onesie that our friend and tie dye expert
Rhonda Conrad made for Madelyn at KFC Camp. Thanks, Rhonda!

Generosity

For some reason, generosity has been a topic that keeps "popping up" over the past few weeks. I think God may be trying to tell me something, but we will get to that later.

The following are 4 definitions of the word "generous"

1. Liberal in giving or sharing.
2. Characterized by nobility and forbearance in thought or behavior; magnanimous.
3. Marked by abundance; ample: a generous slice of cake.
4. Having a rich bouquet and flavor: a generous wine.
   

Although I have experienced all of these definitions at one time or another, below are some of my most recent examples:

• A friend was cleaning out her freezer to make room for meat and food that a family member was bringing her. She generously (definition #3) gave our family bags of meat (like 20 bags) and other food items - more than our freezer could hold - so we filled up my grandmother's freezer and still gave food away (to at least 4 other families so far.) We affectionately refer to her as "The Meat Fairy" (you know, kind of like the Tooth Fairy, who brings kids money...she brought us meat...get it?)
• I read about the amazing generosity of an Apple employee here (Scroll down to post titled "Generosity.")
• The members of a camp committee I serve on decided to share the financial surplus we had this year by sharing generous (definition #1) amounts with those who planned and helped at the camp. We were also able to return money to teen helpers who had originally paid to help offset food costs and decided to give everyone who helped at camp Starbuck's gift cards. What fun!
• My cousin Deb and her husband (who will remain nameless since he values his privacy) responded patiently, and generously (definition #2) when our three year olds decided to practice their artistic abilities on their brand new camper. The kids managed to use markers to color on bench cushions, floor, carpet, wall, bedspread and a decorative pillow. After spending 2-3 hours together scrubbing and cleaning (many thanks to Shelli and Kismet too), Deb was still talking to me and has yet to disown me or my child as part of the family. (I am sure her blog will have more details about this in the future.)

Now, on to the applications...

• I sometimes have an issue with worry (how will we pay for this, when will that work out, why can't God just let me know how this will end up, etc...). After experiencing firsthand the generosity of others, I realized (or maybe remebered is a better word) how amazing and faithful God is to provide - even more than we could ask or imagine (you should see all of the meat!)
• I read today in Mark 10:8 "Freely you have received, freely give" and thought about the ripple effect of generosity - seeing blessings being passed on to others. How cool!
• I was also reminded of how many things Christ has freely given to us: salvation, health, family, friends, hope and peace, just to name a few.

So, this is where I'm wondering...how about you? When or how have you experienced generosity lately?

The Joys of SAHM-hood

Just posting a few pictures because it has been over a week since my last post. It's not that I haven't tried to post. I have thoughts and ideas and have even started typing and have saved a draft. However, I seem to have a hard time finishing anything these days. I am discovering that being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) doesn't mean I am actually at home: I may be off teaching VBS or going to the zoo (see previous post) or grocery shopping or any number of other things that keep me not-at-home. When I am at home, it doesn't necessarily mean I am able to accomplish many, if any, tasks besides changing diapers, fixing meals (sometimes) and encouraging positive behavior from my three year old.

Sometimes, for a task-oriented person like me, this can be challenging or even frustrating. But there are some amazing benefits too:

1. Having Elisha fix me (in his exact words) "a beautiful dinner" out of play food and served on little dishes
2. Holding Madelyn as long as I want...even when I "should" have laid her down for her nap
3. "Snuggling" with Elisha at the start of his nap and hearing him turn over and whisper to me "You're my sweetie-peach" (I guess he has heard Jim call Maddie that on occasion.)
4. Watching many of Madelyn's "firsts" (and "seconds" and "thirds" too!)
5. Catching fun, everyday moments on film (or memory stick, actually) - something I could tend be too busy to do (see below)

Like I have said before, we don't think our child is a genius or anything; but we were rather impressed when we went into Elisha's room the other day and found an elevated train track that he had created entirely on his own. Okay, so maybe he is a genius...with trains, at least.

Madelyn sleeping in Dad's arms.
Now if he could just hold her like that all night...

The Zoo Review

Jim had last week off, so on Friday, we decided
to visit the Gas City Petting Zoo. Although the zoo is small,
it is also FREE (unless you count the 50 cents
we spent in the vending machine to buy food for the animals.)

They had goats, peacocks, goats, turkeys, goats,
sheep, and more goats.The deer are so tame;
below is one of the young fawns.

Oh, and they have llamas...here are Jim and Elisha after feeding it.

And here they are immediately after it sneezed on them!
Just happened to be taking a picture at that moment - way to capture a memory!

Bad Hair Day

Last week we had a couple of bad hair days...
fortunately, Madelyn and Elisha are too young to care
so we can share the photos with friends on our blog.

(The blurry effect on Elisha's pictures is because
he is a three year old who rarely stops moving.)

Wish I Were There

B: Becca, Jaena, Marcia & Shelli

F: Jil, Madelyn & Vickie

Jil and Madelyn

We went up to Pokagaon State apark to set up for KFC Camp (that's Kids for Christ camp, not Kentucky Fried Chicken Camp). After months of planning and organizing, it was finally here! Over 90 campers and 40 workers rolled into camp, ready for a week of great fun and spiritual growth.

Jim, Elisha, Madelyn and I spent Sunday night but decided it might be crazy to stay the entire week (5 days mostly alone with a strong-willed three year old and a high maintenance 5 month old might have stressed out even my amazing husband).

So I am at home, wishing I were at camp...wondering how things are going...looking forward to next year when - hopefully - I can be there too!

The Four Amigos

Elisha having fun with three of his favorite buddies.
Boy, would he love having three older brothers!

Two Cute!

Just a few pics of the kids. I know every parent thinks their kids are "the cutest (smartest, funniest, etc...) kids in the world." And while I am not naive enough to believe this myth, I do love to catch close ups of their little - or not so little anymore - faces.

I look at our kids and try to imagine what they will look like once the baby fat is gone and Elisha's jawline is more defined and Madelyn transitions from infant to toddler to little girl. It's scary to think about, and hopefully those days are far, far away...but from what I hear, it happens sooner than any of us think.


Have we mentioned that Elisha loves trains? He spends literally hours each day building tracks and reenacting stories from Thomas the Train videos. I tell myself that he is practicing "narrative skills" needed for kindergarten and beyond.



























Maddie is just a sweetie. She has outgrown her "colic" or whatever kept her screaming most evenings, and is happy and content. The first picture shows her umbilical hernia (not an "outie" belly button) that freaked us out for a bit. It was actually much larger, sticking out a good inch with an even larger circumference. It's shrinking weekly, and the doctor said it should disappear completely on it's own. Pretty amazing! We're hoping her original "innie" returns in the end. :-)

The Overwhelmingly Obvious

It all started when I was reading the back of our cottage cheese carton...I noticed an allergy warning on it and thought to myself, "That's a good idea to let people know what might be in the product that could cause potential problems. " For instance, who knew that spaghetti sauce contained soybeans and was manufactured in a facility that processes milk?

Anyways, what was this mysterious potential allergen?

Milk.

OK, seems a bit obvious to me that a cheese product would contain milk; but it got me thinking...what other seemingly obvious allergy warnings are listed on food products?

So far I have also been warned that
peanut butter contains peanuts.

Good to know...

That's almost like having to let a person know that coffee from McDonald's is hot or something...

So, keep your eyes open, and let me know what obvious warnings you see around.